When A Sheepish Young Man Called Lee

When a sheepish young man called Lee
Came Sidling up to me
And said, “your girlfriend Grace
Has a great little place”,
With him I did agree …!

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When A Sporty Young Lady Called Samantha

When a sporty young lady called Samantha
Went for a ride on a panther,
The creature, having a stomach ache
Said, “I shall not partake
Of any lunch today Samantha”.

Artificial Grass

I heard an ad for artificial grass
And flowers too
To adorn the gardens of me and you.

What need for what is true
When one can make a pass
At a girl who’s silicon filled bust
engenders lust?

Into the future we thrust
Both lad and lass.
But the artificial grass
Must also pass.

There Was A Young Lady Called Holly

There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She broke every rule
Along with her best friend Molly!

There was a young lady called Holly
Who’s favourite word was golly.
At her boarding school
She played the fool
Along with a cat named Molly!

There was a young lady called Holly
Who wrote poetry far from jolly.
Being rather posh
She said golly and gosh,
And she lived in an ancient folly.