Tag Archives: humour

There Was A Young Lady Called Natasha

There was a young lady called Natasha
Who purchased a potato masher.
But when the darned thing broke
She said, “what a joke,
I shall have to use my gnasher”!

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My Morning

In line with my new year resolution to eat healthily, I popped into my local Wetherspoon, the Postal Order (https://www.jdwetherspoon.com/pubs/all-pubs/england/london/the-postal-order-crystal-palace), and enjoyed a healthy breakfast of sausage, bacon, eggs, Hash Browns, baked beans and tomatos. Well the tomato was fresh so can, I feel sure be classified as healthy …

Following my light snack, I popped into the barbbers to have my beard trimmed. As the good man wielded the cut throat razor, I pondered idly on Sweeny Todd (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweeney_Todd). Fortunately the establishment lacks blacked out windows and as I was shaved customers came and went, so I didn’t end up in Mr Todd’s cellar or in any pies – well this time at any rate …

On leaving the barbers, I visited Upper Norwood Library (https://www.uppernorwoodlibraryhub.org), and enquired whether they would consider stocking my collection of poetry, “The Writer’s Pen and Other Poems”, (https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1730814883/). On learning that I was a local author (I live some 15 minutes walk from the library), the helpful librarian said that they liked to support local authors and took a copy of my book which will, I hope soon appear on the library’s shelves.

I shall close now as I feel the need for a further walk, as my healthy breakfast is still, quite unaccountably weighing me down!

When A Pretty Young Miss

When a pretty young miss
Went in search of a kiss
Her sister Ling
Said, “men want only one thing,
So stay at home young miss …”.

When a pretty young miss
Went in search of a kiss
Her sister Ling
Said, “love does sting
So be careful who you kiss …”.

There Was A Young Lady Called Heather

There was a young lady called Heather
Who, wishing to live forever
Received a brain transplant
From a maiden aunt
Which made her terribly clever!

There was a young lady called Heather
Who, wishing to live forever
Received a brain transplant
From a biker aunt,
So now she dresses in leather!