I know a young lady called Bess
Who’s love she did confess
To a man named Bill,
(She loves him still),
But alas he doesn’t love Bess!
When a careless young man called Howe
Fell from a very high bough
A farmer, named Guy
Said, with a cry
“You have fallen on my prize cow!”.
(The name “Howe” is pronounced “How).
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who met in spring with a panther.
Come the summertime
I wrote a rhyme
About a girl who’s name was Samantha …
There was a young man called Grubb
Who wrote verse in his local pub.
The publican, named Monk
Said, “you’re drunk,
But your verse it is really quite good!”.
There was a young man of Doncaster
Who decided his wall to plaster.
He drank lots of beer
Which made him feel queer
And led to a plaster disaster!
When a naughty young lady called Bess
Stole a little black dress
A store detective named Guy
Said, with a sigh
“You’ll look great in that little black dress …!”.
A pretty young lady called Nell
Rang upon my bell.
I was elsewhere at the time
Composing an intricate rhyme
As I did her large boyfriend tell …
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who’s morals were truly shocking.
When she dated a man named Ed
And my brother called Fred,
Their wives they came aknocking!
I know a young lady called May
Who told me a limerick risqué.
I experienced delight
Throughout the night
But she won’t repeat it today